The sun shines down on God’s golden garden on a bright Summer’s day,
The Beauty and peace, the cooling breeze deceive the nearby dangers lurking beyond,
And the mother looks on lazily watching her innocents, carefree, happy at play,
Evil rears its ugly head to threaten the tranquil, waters of their pond,
A mother’s instinct perks up, radar comes on high alert, ready to defend,
Love bears no cross, no hesitation, no doubt as her body belies fear,
A tower of hope, she prepares her powers, strength, and defenses to lend,
Game set to play, she rises, to protect all that she holds dear,
A mother’s inborn love, comes forth selfless, sacrificial, gracious and always giving,
Willing to do what it takes to ensure her babies go on living……
Happy Mother's Day!
If I had to write a commentary, I would focus on imagery, diction, and structure. I would first of comment on the imagery present in the first stanza, as you provide very warm and safe images. You use diction to portray these images and feelings, such as "God's golden garden", "beauty and peace", "carefree, happy". The use of alliteration also gives the poem a fun rhythm.
ReplyDeleteThe structure and tone changes dramatically in the second stanza, for you start to use short choppy phrases to depict a rash struggle for survival. The shift in tone really displays the distinction between the two scenes: a lazy afternoon, and a struggle away from danger. By using powerful words, such as "a tower of hope", "defend", "love", the very concept of the poem is portrayed- the strength of a mother's love. The diction used to describe the enemy, such as "evil" and "ugly", depict the bias personification depicted in your poem, creating two opposing personas parallel to the two opposing scenes.